


don’t belong

by spidermork



Category: SHINee
Genre: Gen, but he just showed up!!, i dont know why i did this, its short pls it’s just an idea, jinki is dead too :(, jonghyun has been dead for awhile, jonghyun is Dead, please help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 18:05:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19045636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidermork/pseuds/spidermork
Summary: Jonghyun is dead. Has been dead. Jinki shows up and he (Jonghyun) is a little more than surprised.





	don’t belong

**Author's Note:**

> im crying i came up with this at two am

Jonghyun has been dead for a few years. Maybe four, maybe five- He’s lost count. But he’s been watching his other members for awhile now. He gets a little sad when he sees that this morning, Jinki wasn’t home. And then, there’s a soft tap- It’s Jinki, and Jonghyun is surprised, “You shouldn’t be here yet” to which Jinki says, “Neither should you.” And Jonghyun looks down. He should be looking down, but then ‘no wait don’t say that you got over it’ He knows it hurt them. “How’ve the fans be?” and Jinki says, “Been better. Probably sadder now that I’m gone. Also I hope you know that every time your birthday passed, the other members and I would go to your mothers house and sit with her looking through photo albums. Did you know that?” and yes, Jonghyun knew. “I watched you guys every time..” And it was true. Jonghyun is always watching over them. It made him a little sad. He wonders how Kibum, Taemin, and Minho are holding up. He should check up on them soon.

“How’d you get here,” Jonghyun whispers after a moment of silence, and Jinki swallows all his guilt, knowing that he would ask. “I did what you did-“ and there was Jonghyun’s gasp- “Because I couldn’t take it anymore. I missed you too much. Nothing was ever the same. And everyone always said ‘Oh he’s a member for eternity!’ which was fine, but it just hurt, because you just weren’t there and it just fucking hurt so much.” Jinki is sobbing, and his skin burns because fuck, he’s standing in front of Jonghyun but he’s spent so many years without him there, right in front of him.  
“I wish you would’ve told us,” Jinki tries after a long silence, but Jonghyun just shook his head. “No. I tried to, in my music, but no one got what I was trying. And even then, if I told you all... Who would you be to take what I wanted away from me? Who would you be to take away the peace I wanted for you to have peace?” And Jonghyun doesn’t say it to be mean, he says it because it’s true. Who would the fans be if they took away his peace for themselves? Who would his friends be if they took his peace for their own? Clearly not friends, then.  
“You’re right. And I thought about that a lot. And I told Taemin about it, but I was sorta glad you did it. That way you weren’t suffering anymore. That way you were free.” And Jonghyun’s heart clenches, because he’s realising that it isn’t rude at all, and that Jinki just wanted him to be okay, and that if being okay meant taking his own life, then Jinki would let him do so. Because in the end, it was just for Jonghyun. Only Jonghyun. In the end, Jinki would just wish that Jonghyun was okay. Never himself. Only Jonghyun, and sometimes, Jonghyun wished it wasn’t like this. Wished he had a normal life and he wished that he could’ve learned how to turn his sadness and pain into happiness and he just wished and wished and wished-  
“You’re thinking too hard.”  
And Jonghyun cracks a small smile, because yeah, he really is, and he shouldn’t be. So, instead of letting it get to him, he gets a little closer to Jinki and hugs him, hugs him real tight, that way he can feel what he lost once and has now gained back. And Jinki hugs him back tightly, taking it in because before he got here he was wondering if he’d even see Jonghyun at all.  
And now it was just the two of them. Only them. Only their breathing and only their hearts. Their lives that they lost. There.


End file.
